Sunday, Mar. 18th 2012 12:21 AM
Don?t you just love to see ?real? love ? the type of love that appears sweet, enduring, and long-lasting, where the parties hold hands everywhere they go and kiss all the time, as though it was the first week of their romance? I don?t. It doesn?t seem genuine to me. I don?t know about you, but I have been in my share of relationships, and I have never felt like holding hands all of the time ? especially not when I was being watched. Maybe I?m a prude, but I don?t feel the urge to give my partner long, passionate kisses in public. And I don?t believe that people who act this way are sincere.
Case in point: Seal and Heidi Klum ? a couple known for syrupy-sweet public displays of affection ? recently announced their decision to split. This was a shock to their fans, especially since the singer and the supermodel renewed their wedding vows less than a year ago.
Unless you?re new to my blog, you already I know that my first reaction to celebrity couple news is typically, ?Who cares?? But their love story has a lesson in it: Looks can be deceiving. When I see a couple constantly holding hands or kissing, they seem to me to be performing love, not living it. And I?m not the only one who thinks so. USA Today interviewed psychotherapist Bonnie Eaker Weil about the end of this seven-year marriage. As she put it, ?Exposing yourselves so literally, as Klum and Seal did, is about overcompensation? they want to prove not only to themselves but to the rest of the world that everything is fine.?
It?s not just entertainers who put on a romantic show for us. Consider every U.S. president and First Lady you can remember. Every time we see them together, they?re holding hands. Descending the steps from Air Force One ? holding hands. Standing on a campaign platform ? holding hands. Walking across the lawn, with or without their children ? holding hands. Dear Mr. President (past, present and future), please give me, the American public and, most importantly, yourself a break. I know you feel the need to be presidential and give the impression of a fairy-tale marriage, but I, for one, don?t want that from you. I don?t want you to try to convince me that you are better than me or that your relationship is better than mine. I want to know that you and your wife are real people ? just like me. And real people get tired. Their hands get sweaty, and they don?t need to touch their partners all the time just to prove they love them.
Furthermore, by setting inauthentic and impossible romantic standards, famous couples often make love harder on us mere mortals. While public displays of affection do not convince me that two people love each other, lots of people do buy into it. And they start to wonder to themselves (and possibly to their partners), ?Why aren?t we like that? Why don?t we hold hands like they do? Why aren?t we as lovey-dovey as we were in the beginning of our relationship?? The better question might be, ?Why do they act that way?? or ?Do they act that way when other people aren?t looking??
That?s the trouble with comparing our relationships with those of other people; we only know as much as they let us see. And most celebrities and politicians aren?t going to let us see much that isn?t flattering ? at least not intentionally.
I recently heard a woman say, ?Oh no, Seal and Heidi Klum can?t split. I absolutely love them. They always seemed so into one another. I wish my relationship was like that.? I rest my case.
Keep Rising,
Frank Love
www.FrankLove.com
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